Independent Play is more than a "parenting break." So you don't need to feel guilty for wanting or encouraging it. And if it's not happening in your home, maybe this will give you some motivation to try a few new things.

There are so many benefits of PLAY for the child, starting with problem-solving, imagination, exploration, learning about the world around them, learning how their body works, science, reasoning… the list goes on and on.  

I have said this before but there are two types of learning, academic. This usually involves a plan with worksheets, facts, memorization and is an essential part of schooling. The other type is intellectual which is developing self-regulation, hypothesizing, problem-solving, independence, and leadership. You can see how a well-rounded child would need both. Sadly the intellectual part is taken out of so many programs, so for children under five, this is the #1 learning style I encourage! LET THEM PLAY. They will learn these things through play.  

Now that we understand, play is important and so much learning happens through play. Let's talk about the benefits of Independent Play.

#1 benefit for me -- a break.

A chance to work, a chance to relax, a chance to rotate the laundry… there's so much on every parent's plate… and it's so much easier to tackle those lists when our kids are content and playing -- and as a result LEARNING.  

There are also a TON of benefits for the child.

1. Emotional Regulation

Downtime or time alone without a ton of added stimulation, ideas, talking gives a child to be alone in their own thoughts. Often when children are overwhelmed, over-stimulated or tired this is when they will have highly reactive behavior. Giving them a chance to just play independently is a way for children to develop coping skills, encouraging that self-care time to take a break and do what they want to do. This is so important for each of us. Do you have "me time" in your days? How do you feel after? Children's "me time" is best served through independent play.  

2. Self Confidence

I love watching Charlie play by himself because it's a time when he plays without any inhibitions. He will voice out things like "I am not your friend anymore" "But I want to save you" "You can't" "I'll save you" …and these dramatic scenes with dialogue that helps him make sense of things he sees in real life and on screens. He has a chance to really explore some of these phrases and how it looks among his toys, creating his own heroic rescue, trying out new voices, leading the play 100%. I don't interrupt at all and in fact, I do the "I am not listening or looking at you" body language while tuning in with all the eaves-dropping muscles I've developed because I just think it's so fun to see what he does and says when no one is there or guide it or change it. He's developing confidence in himself, a confidence that he can take into play with peers, siblings, and me. 

3. Self-Reliance

Children who can play by themselves will take the time to figure out challenges. Maelie was sitting on the floor playing with her dolls the other day and figured out how to get the tight dress off all by herself. It took her a good 15 minutes, where it would've taken be 15 seconds… but she was determined and she figured it out. Next thing I know the doll is floating in her water bead sensory table and she's giving it a bath and then redressing. Had I been there guiding the play, none of that would have happened -- and also she wouldn't have taken the time to figure out those complex fine-motor skills all while developing patience.

 4. Better Learners

Children who play independently are better learners. They are more focused and have longer attention spans. They develop intrinsic motivation and have a desire to figure out the next steps of their play -- whereas always playing how the adult wants them to play leads to product-focused learning instead of loving the process. We want students who WANT to learn… this can be accomplished through play.

5. Imagination

 Independent play is open-ended and can lead a child anywhere. Imagination isn't just day-dreams, it's logical thinking, questioning, pretending, and reinforcing what the child has experienced or observed in life. Independent play is one of the best forms of imagination. Unstructured block building uses just as much imagination as playing house or baby dolls.

Okay, you have learned all the benefits of independent play. Now HOW? How do you get your child to play for more than five minutes by yourself?

I have developed an ebook to go along with my Xo Playtime Membership.

With a large variety of ideas and the philosophies behind learning through play -- I am giving you more than enough tools to make independent play successful in your home.

 Xo Playtime is a learn through play curriculum. If you join this membership which only opens 2x a year, you will have access to over a year’s worth of learning through play activities to help your child develop cognitive, social, and emotional.