If your "boundary talk" before a challenging activity isn't working, then not enough to just say, okay "when we go to the park you need to play nice."
- Try explaining what it looks like to play nice
- Ask what if questions to prompt their problem solving brain
- Practice it
- Go with them into the activity, model and guide
- Help them where they are at, even if the other kids their don't need the same kind of support.
Read MoreThis boy didn't just "go to his church class finally..." he was able to process something he anticipated with anxiety and get through it with self-regulation and confidence. I'm SO PROUD of this family for their work to reframe behavior and develop these skills together.
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Unfortunately, the way we respond to sibling conflict…
…can create resentment with us or with their brother or sister
…can enable them to become tattle-tellers instead of problem solvers
…can create hype around possessions
…can affect our relationships with your kids
…can communicate "you're wrong" or "I don't trust you"
So I started from square one.
I listed all potential functions.
I listed tons of prevention strategies.
I thought carefully about the missing skills & how to teach them.
And then, lastly, I organized responses (including the amazing safe place)
And then, upon success in reframing the way I deal with sibling conflict... I created a course. It's something I strive to use EVERY day in parenting my children, but also in conflict with cousins or friends. Using the framework for behavior I love, and know, and research and rave about.
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