Screens: Helping children develop self-regulation in a world of tech
**Disclaimer: This information is research and evidence-based, along with MY opinion and decision for what I am going to do with it for my child.
Tune into what your gut says about what is right for your family
Some things to know about Screens
Education apps are harder for our children to process.
This was the first thing that shocked me when I started doing my own research on screens. I thought, “you know what I need to make dinner... I’ll give Charlie and educational app and that will make me feel less guilty about screentime today”
My world flipped upside down when I realized that games on the iPad, the interactive stuff were harder for his brain development than just watching a show.
In our minds, we associate watching TV as lazy, so if they are doing something educational or interactive during screentime, they are being productive.
Wrong. And there are several reasons why.
Sensory overload.
In the book, Reset Your Child’s Brain, Dr. Victoria L. Dunckley goes into depth on the effects of screentime, some points she makes about passive versus interactive can be found in the bullet points below.
The brain is not able to realize the difference between real and perceived threats… so artificially intense stimulation that comes from interactive electronic screen media produces a physiological and psychological flight-or-fight reaction (i.e. violent video games)
Eyes are a direct extension of the central nervous system… so watching interactive screens causes overstimulation in the sensory system
Interactive screen-time is more likely to create hyper-arousal and dysregulation, disrupt sleep, associated with mood, cognitive and social problems
What do we do with this information?
Reduce Cognitive Load
If we are going to use screen-time safely for our children we have to know the difference between passive and interactive. We have to be able to recognize the impacts of both. When we understand the effects of each, we can make an effective plan to reduce the cognitive load for our children.
Personal Stance
Not restrict screens, but to have a healthy relationship. But to develop healthy habits, self-regulation, and self-discipline
Tune into your child's reaction to different types of screen use (passive vs. active, one game vs another, one show vs. another) and then decide what this will look like from day to day or week to week with your kids.
Managing Screens
Tune into what your gut says about what is right for your family
Information in this section includes recommendations from the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP)
Evidence-based information
What are the recommendations?
Babies younger than 18 months, the AAP says no screens with one exception (Facetime or video chat)
They have found that the benefits of virtual visits with family members outweigh the potential cost of exposing babies to laptops and phones
Infants as old as 6 months are emotionally engaged while talking with grandparents on skype
18 months to 2: AAP has changed the standard from “no screen time under 2” to “no solo screens under 2.” Watch alongside them and interact with them if they are watching a movie or show.
Preschoolers age 2 to 5: there is more evidence that they have the ability to transfer knowledge from screens to the real world, including early literacy and math, and positive social and emotional skills and behaviors.
Sesame Workshop and PBS are trusted evidence-based children's educational media, whereas of an estimated hundred-thousand "education"-branded apps in the iPad store, very few have been found to satisfy high standards for learning.
AAP recommends no more than an hour a day of screen use.
Caregivers should take part in screen time: "Co-view with your children, help children understand what they are seeing, and help them apply what they learn to the world around them."
Set Limits
Limit to what you feel comfortable with for your child and your family
These can change, let them be fluid
If one week calls for more screens, that’s okay
If one week calls for no screens, that’s okay too
Tune into what your gut says about what is right for your family
If strong behavior is happening with screens, you may want to eliminate interactive screens:
Do not give phones or tablets
Try to watch movies on a reasonably sized TV from a distance
Need a Reset?
If your children are having intense reactions to any of the symptoms of ESS (this can be found in the book Reset Your Child's Brain) I would recommend doing a RESET
Going screen-free can produce benefits almost immediately
The goal isn’t to get through the meltdowns and fits because it’s annoying, the goal is to optimize development, so if your kids need a full reset... don’t resist! You can do it!
Some Rules:
Don't give phone
Don't give as a bandaid for a conflict or problem, to avoid solving and regulation emotions
Avoid including screens in a daily routine. If there is a set time for screens every day, then it becomes something that is hard to go without.
Avoid using screens as a reward. Screens are just another activity. Do not use it as a reward after regular play or after reading. This creates an unhealthy relationship with screens. (self-medicating with Netflix binges & video games, know anyone?)
Avoid using screens as a bandaid. If you need support or engaging activities in place of screens look at xoplaytime activities, rotate toys, less is more, allow for messy play, encourage gross motor/outdoor activities
Goals
The ultimate goal is not “life-restriction of screens.” We don’t want to have to look at everything they are doing... and tune into everything they are feeling when it comes to screens.
The GOAL is self-regulation & self-discipline
Limits still matter (especially for young children), but how can we teach more in line with our goal?
Help them manage their own screens
One day, they will be grown up and they have to be able to decide whether to play one more show or to turn it off and socialize, read or eat.
Use TV tokens
An idea from a child psychologist, Ashley Soderlund Ph.D.
Print out the tokens and a list of your child’s favorite shows that are more slow-paced. Chose shows that are more realistic and have less flashing and quick scene changes.
Prep your child with this new plan, you can choose when to watch your shows every day & choose to limit when the tokens can be used
“This is a great example of giving your child power and choice within a boundary. The tokens are not rewards, they are simply there as a limit — as a guide.”
“Your child can choose when and which one they want to use. When the tokens are gone, they’re gone. Every day the tokens reset. They aren’t taken away as punishment, nor are they given as rewards. They are simply a tool your child can use to regulate their own screen time.”
Find her blog: https://nurtureandthriveblog.com/