Helping Young Kids Develop Emotional Intelligence with Tyler Beckstrand, LCSW

Tyler Beckstrand, LCSW found that there is a lot of education on academics in our formal training, but not a lot on emotional intelligence and developing our EQ. What would it be like if we learned emotions in school like we did math, history, or reading? I think it could change the WORLD. If we could be better about understanding our own emotions, and recognizing emotions in others alone, I think it would really help our relationships! We want our kids to develop empathy and regulate their strong emotions. That’s the entire goal of my Xo Parenting education.

The children's book that Tyler wrote, called Bear's Book of Emotions, was written to help children identify emotions in themselves.  This is based on the concept of emotional intelligence which states that the 4 components of being emotionally sound are:  

1 - Identifying emotions in ourselves

2 - Identifying emotions in others

3 - Regulating our own emotions, and

4 - Regulating emotions in our relationships with others. 

The book focuses on helping kids identify emotions in themselves and others by having my main character -- Bear -- act out the emotions for kids to see. There are also discussion questions in the back of the book to get families talking about emotions.

One of the questions I asked Tyler in our interview was about how to help children start to regulate strong emotions. He took it back to the simple step of BREATHING. This helps us to regulate our stress and get back into a thinking brain. One way I like to teach this is by helping children learn how to breathe with games in the green arrow moments (remember teach proactively). So we play the game small the flower and blow out the candle using our finger as a prompt. When things get stressful later, I can simply prompt it with my finger to remind them of our breathing strategy.