Being a mother is a thankless job, BUT...

Being a mother is a thankless job.

Which can sometimes cause burn out, feeling inadequate and like you need 6 of you cuz you can’t possibly be stretched any further.

♥︎

But you are enough.

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You are actually the most important human in the world to your kids.

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If they whine/cry to you it’s because they feel safe expressing their emotions with you.

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If they come to you with tattle tale after tattle tale, it’s because they trust you to fix their problems.

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If they end up in your room night after night, it’s because they want to be close to you.

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If they are jealous of their siblings, it’s because they want all of your love.

♥︎ Even though this is a thankless job,

Your kids are thanking you every time they trust you as the one to cry to, every time they trust you as the one they snuggle in their bed, everything they call you to tell you about something so insignificant.

They know YOU will always listen.

They know YOU always know what to do.

They know YOU love them no matter what.

This day was created so we could all say thank you.

And even though it can be hard if you lost your mom, have infertility, don’t want to become a mother... there’s always a mother somewhere to celebrate.

Child DevelopmentLauren PaceJuly 30, 2019spirited childComment

WHINING MAKES ME CRAZY.

Believe me, I’ve had my fair share of STOP WHINING!!!! moments. But I realize too that it’s a lose lose if I get to that point.

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For little annoying behaviors like whining. We don’t ignore them, give them what they want then come back to a green arrow moment later. We do the teaching right then.

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You can ask nicely. Say, “I want the dinosaur show please” *repeat* “ok now you do it” *does on own*

This is the only way whining will commence. There has to be consistent teaching of what they SHOULD do. Not just what they shouldn’t.

Child DevelopmentLauren PaceJuly 29, 2019Social & Emotional DevelopmentComment

The Mouse Timer

I don't have games on my phone. But I do have this ONE free app, that I use as a tool to teach prosocial behaviors.

Any other amazing apps out there that are parent hacks... drop em below!

Meet, the Mouse Timer. This app is a timer that shows several different time options. You click the time you need and then when the mouse eats the cheese the timer is up.

Charlie often has a hard time taking turns with his cousin. So, we pulled out the mouse timer. "When the mice eats the cheese, then it's Pipers turn" Then while Piper had her turn Charlie kept checking in to see how many more apples were left before the mouse got the cheese.

Another thing that would work would just be a digital timer that they can see moving or counting down. It's so hard for kids to conceptualize time, but if they can see ok... I can have a turn in 15 apples... I'm going to survive. It usually goes a lot smoother.

Child DevelopmentLauren PaceJuly 24, 2019screens, apps, Social & Emotional DevelopmentComment

Are you regular?

When it comes to eating and sleeping, I'd say I'm right in the middle of the line from regular to not regular. Charlie too. And I'm thinking Maelie fits right in there as well too. How about you?

Research tells us we all have different temperaments when it comes to "regularity." Some kids can be hungry on a set clock. Be ready for bed on a set clock. Poop every day at the same time. Other kids are less regular, and some are not regular at all. If you are more regular, and you have a kid on the other end of the spectrum of regularity, that is a mismatch. Seeing eating schedule from a temperament point of view might make more sense for how to adapt your expectations (based on your personal temperament) to fit your child's needs (based on their temperament). It's not our job to change temperament, but to give them support and/or adapt the environment when we can to help them thrive.

Child DevelopmentLauren PaceJuly 22, 2019temperament, spirited childComment

Instead of Good Job, try...

"The more we say, "I like the way you…." or "Good ______ing," the more kids come to rely on our evaluations, our decisions about what's good and bad, rather than learning to form their own judgments. It leads them to measure their worth in terms of what will lead us to smile and dole out some more approval." - Alfie Kohn

Child DevelopmentLauren PaceJuly 22, 2019Social & Emotional DevelopmentComment

Attention-seeking or CONNECTION-seeking

“Carry me mommmm” who gets this? 👋🏼

When kids want you to carry them and they are definitely old enough to walk. A few things could be going on. They might actually be tired. Or they might be seeking connection. Connection that their baby sister is getting all the time by being carried. So I’m not saying fine give in, haul around the 2 year old. But find ways to connect with them while you’re walking to a place. “How far can you jump” let’s jump these cracks together.

I remember my mom telling me one time in Disneyland when she was holding my hand that when she squeezed it it means “I love you.” I literally thought that was universal forever. Looking back on this memory that she probably doesn’t even remember saying... was so engraved in my childhood as a simple, but meaningful connection with my mom.

Child DevelopmentLauren PaceJuly 17, 2019Comment