Big Brother Adjusting to Life with a New Sister
June 2018 - Maelie and Charlie (21 months apart)
When I had Maelie I was so worried about how Charlie would feel. My first little buddy all of a sudden adding a sister to the mix and a tired mama. All the changes. He did fabulously! He loved her instantly.
March 2021 | Lola and Charlie (4.5 year apart)
With this baby, he’s been loving her, kissing her, talking to her “hi Lola, it’s me Charlie” for weeks and weeks before she was born. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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I’ve never met a 4yr old more into his baby sister. He loves on her. Kisses her. Asks to feed her. Holds his little legs under my arm while I’m feeding her to help me. Helps me burp her and more kisses.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
The day after we came home he was a little off all day. His little body as excited as he was for Lola was feeling all of the changes. He was super emotional, didn’t want to eat, didn’t want to do any of the things he usually loved like ride his bike or go on RZR rides. Was grumpy with Maelie. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
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Instead of getting annoyed with this behavior, I took a step back and realized that the sensations in his body were causing this stress reaction.
How can I support him through his emotions and not wish them away or distract him from them?
He ended up telling us he was feeling “very sick” and couldn’t do anything by the end of the night cuz he was “so sick.” He clearly wasn’t sick. But he knew something was off inside. And that cry for “attention” as some may call it, was him trying to tell us he needed connection from mom and dad. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀
What can we do when our kids are “acting out“ when big moments and big changes are happening in their lives?
Feel them with him.
Accept them.
Hug him.
Allow him the space to feel.
Let them fall asleep on you.
BE FLEXIBLE.
I cried huge crocodile tears thinking about does he know just how much I love him? He truly is the greatest little boy, I love watching him be the best big brother to two princesses.
If you need more help to SUPPORT YOUR KIDS’ BIG EMOTIONS, take a look at this free workbook or join our Parenting with Emotional Intelligence course.