Stop Spanking: Relationship > compliance = cooperation
Spanking. I’m not about it.
Why? I’ll give you 10 reasons off the top of my head.
Studies have shown that physical punishment including spanking, hitting and other means of causing pain — can lead to aggression, anti-social behavior, injury and mental health problems for children.
Spanking values COMPLIANCE over the RELATIONSHIP
Spanking shows that the person involved does not know how to regulate his own emotions, yet expects the child to magically know how
Spanking alters children’s brain response in ways similar to severe maltreatment and increases perception of threats.** (Cuartas, Weissman, Sheridan, Lengua, & McLaughlin, 2021)
Implies that child’s emotions are wrong
Spanking is scary! Too lose control… no.
Spanking is immature (emotionally)
Spanking is heartbreaking for the child and harms the relationship.
Spanking undermines TRUST
Spanking leads to more defiant children.
Spanking is a HARD NO. From me.
I just want you to know that growing up, I was spanked. And even when I came to college, I was of the opinion, I was spanked and I turned out fine. The more I learn about emotional intelligence, and childhood emotional neglect. The more I realize that spanking is not the way. EVER. There is literally no benefit from spanking.
I got this message the other day, that really made my heart sing:
I just have to say thank you for all you great words! I used to be pro spanking and just making my kids do what I say and get mad with the outbursts but I have really been trying your suggestions and they do work!!! This morning my 2 yr old had a meltdown about getting dressed and going to daycare and right when I was about to get frustrated I sat down picked him up and held him and talked to him softly about how he was sad. Instantly he settled down we were able to get dressed and out the door and no one was frustrated! Thank you so much your amazing!
"Valuing our relationship with our kids over compliance leads to cooperation"
-Lauren Pace