Getting Through Trapped Emotions with Talesha Carter
Today we are hearing from Talesha Carter, an emotional coach, on TRAPPED EMOTIONS. She’s a personal development fanatic, has watched every office episode on repeat and her family loves to road trip!
So tell us a little bit about trapped emotions.
Emotions are energy in motion, And so if you take anything that has energy, like a thought, vibration, feeling all of that combined together can become trapped in the body.
So I talk a lot about how all behavior is communication and this is just another example of that. Basically, when I'm feeling triggered, instead of being annoyed that I'm triggered or trying to put it off. I pause and lean into what that trigger is telling me about a trapped emotion.
How do I un-trap up that trapped emotion?
It comes back to being self-aware and identifying that it's not necessarily about your kids. Kids are sponges for everything, but on top of that they also bring out the qualities within us that we need to grow through.
You could go through tons of mentoring and coaching and other experiences but parenting shows you exactly where you need to grow in your life.
So if you have to put it on a shelf for a minute and go do your parenting thing go do it take a mommy time-out. Whatever it is that you need to do take a 10-second breath to calm yourself down and then come back to the parenting situation because it's not fair to take the stress from a different situation and put it on to your kids. We, as grown-ups are in charge of our emotions and then teach our kids to handle their emotional responses.
If you're frustrated from a different situation and then you walk into your parenting situation and blow up on your kids and they're like, but Mom 10 seconds ago, you didn't blow up on me. Why are you blowing up on me now? They're going to ingrain in them that pathway like I was saying, in the beginning, I thought they're going to think and see because of your actions that you get a result by yelling or being frustrated or whatever the responses that you're giving in that parenting situation.
How do I work through that trapped emotion?
I will recommend to my clients all day long as you have to get it out of your brain because what's happening inside your brain is this is a thing that shows subconscious right? Like you don't even really recognize that it's there. You can feel it and then you start to write it down and then your conscious brain can see it but if you don't write it down to allow your conscious brain to see it your brain is going to fight back and forth internally and again create more stress in your life. And then you're going to avoid it and then continue with the same patterns and results so you may be able to write it down and get it out of your head.
And as soon as you get out of your head and you can see it then you can consciously say, oh, well, that's totally like that's a lie. That's not true. Like I'm not a bad parent or I'm not a bad person because I'm overwhelmed over this situation. And then from there, you can tear up that paper get rid of it, and then complete it with that an affirmation of that new truth for your life.
Repressed emotions can cause outbursts later.
So if kids aren’t feeling feelings or getting that emotion all the way out. Then it's a repressed emotion. It's stuck inside. So, how do we help our kids release some of this tension and these emotions?
Yeah, let them feel their emotions. I will repeat this until the day I die and then probably even after that it is okay and safe to have feelings. It is good to have feelings and emotions. If we did not, then life would be so boring.
So if they're having like a tantrum in public and we want them to be able to feel but how do we like navigate that out in the world?
That is so hard because if you're like me, you're like, oh my gosh other parents are watching way. I would say get them to that safe moment as or that safe space where you can as quickly as possible. Use distraction, help them to move out of that stressful situation, and then they can calm down.
Talk to them get down on their level and then from there once they've calmed down then you can try and navigate the emotional situation, but it's so tough as a parent to know exactly what's right in this situation, but my number one go-to is always keep them safe and other people safe and then from there.
You're going to be calmer and you can help them calm down as well cuz they're going to feed off of your energy as well. If you're looking at it as my kid is bad or my kid is doing something wrong or my kid is a problem to other people you're going to bring that energy to them and they're not going to be able to calm down and navigate it.
I was in the grocery store the other day and there was a kid who was crying and he had to go on a time-out. She’d got down on his level. She said, okay, let's take a break and then she like kind of let him just kind of be sad for a minute. She's like sitting on the floor in the middle of the store and I wanted to be like “you go mama” like I support those cuz I could tell she was kind of embarrassed people were walking by but I wanted to just be like “dude, that's exactly what you should be doing right now” because trying to like cover his mouth or rush out of the store is going to help anybody you're going to feel more stress, but if you can both just take a break for a minute. I think that's great.
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